the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
