It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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