i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
