Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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