Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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