was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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