fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize