Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
