just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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