what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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