i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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