Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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