I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
