Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
