her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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