I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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