He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
