1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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