You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
