Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
