She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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