Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
