If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize