Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
