Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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