Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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