sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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