Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
