how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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