so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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