I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
