on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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