My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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