remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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