If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
