are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
