I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
