Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize