i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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