Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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