i permit you to call me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
