they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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