So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize