no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize