what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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