I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
