Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
