so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
