I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just threw up on my dentist
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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