6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
