It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
