hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
