I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
