We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
