My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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