his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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