Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Enjoy the penises
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
