they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
