I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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