I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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