things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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