yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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