if you like me you must not know who I am
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
