Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize