I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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