god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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