We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
