just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
