Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
this hospital has no fireball
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
