you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
