i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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