I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
