I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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